• Information on online advice
• General information on forced marriage
• Legal aspects
• Recommendations
• Links / Assistance in NRW

 

Our online advice service offers information and support to girls and young women as regards the protection against forced marriage.

Within a protected framework (SSL codification) the girls may contact us by e-mail, single chat or group chat. On request, there is the possibility to get personal advice or advice by phone.

• Our advice is anonymous, i.e. everything girls write or tell us is treated confidentially. Nobody gets to know that those girls asking us for advice have contacted us. We do not take any decision without the consent of the concerned.
• If girls/ young women need concrete assistance in crisis situations, we arrange for a local advice or a protected accommodation on request.
• We support girls and young women. Only women work for us. All consultants have lots of professional experience to support girls and young women.
• We talk German, Turkish and Kurdish.
• Any e-mail is answered within 3 days.
• On request, girls/young women may even write e-mails to us in Arab and Albanian language. These e-mails are treated in cooperation with an interpreter service (of course in a protected and anonymous way). Such inquiries are answered as quickly as possible which, however, takes some more time.
• As regards boys/young men, being threatened by forced marriage, we arrange for suitable counselling institutions.
• At schools or other institutions (e.g. migrant organisations) we organise information events for girls about the offer of our online counselling centre. If you are interested, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Foto: zervas

About the supporting organisation: ‘Mädchenhaus Bielefeld e.V.’ is a charitable association with the aim to increase the living conditions of girls and young women in any areas of life. As an acknowledged supporting organisation, the association develops supporting offers for girls and young women in emergency and crisis situations. Girls of different social and cultural origin find advice, support, protection and long-term accommodation possibilities in those four departments of Mädchenhaus Bielefeld e.V.: Counselling centre, online advice about the protection against forced marriage, refuge and assisted living (For further information about the association, please see: www.maedchenhaus-bielefeld.de)

 

 

Forced marriage or arranged marriage?

We talk about forced marriage, when parents or family force the bride and/ or groom to marriage threatening them with violence. If one of the partners does not agree to the marriage and does not give his consent and/ or feels being compelled to give her/ his consent we talk about forced marriage.

In contrast to that there is the arranged marriage. Such a marriage has been initiated by parents/ relatives or by mediators, however to the mutual agreement of both future spouses.

Foto: m-leenient

It is quite difficult to differentiate between forced marriage and arranged marriage. Hereto, a thorough analysis of motivation and interests of all parties participating is required. Whether we talk of a forced marriage or what can be considered as constraint is subject to the subjective perception of the concerned. It is decisive that both the young woman and young man do have a real chance to say ‘no’. An essential role therewith plays the exerted and realised constraint to celebrate the marriage. What parents consider as soft pressure (‘well-meant and the best for the child’) may in a psychic stress be considered by the daughter or the son as constraint or coercion. There are girls who accept that their parents chose the possible spouse, but nevertheless have the last word about the decision. In many cases, however, lots of pressure is exerted so that a deny will have severe consequences for the girls. They have to be afraid of ‘loosing their family’. Often, their consent is compelled by the parents and relatives by means of psychic and social pressure, threats up to announced murder for honour’s sake, locking-out, psychical violence. After having celebrated the marriage, such pressure is sometimes maintained. The women have to continue their marriage against their will all consequences included (see consequences of forced marriage).

Some figures regarding forced marriage

Experts unanimously believe that forced marriage in Germany and other central European countries takes place more frequently as supposed so far. However, there are no representative figures as regards the frequency of forced marriages at the moment. It may however be expected that there is a high dark figure. In the framework of a study of the Bundesministeriums für Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend (BMFSFJ ) [Federal Ministry for Family, Seniors, Women and Youth] of 2004, 150 women from Turkey gave their statements on the subject of forced marriage:

• With half of the women interviewed, the family had chosen the future partner.
• A quarter of these women were not asked regarding their opinion about their future partner.
• 17 percent of the women stated that they had felt compelled to celebrate the marriage.

Results of interviews made by assisting institutions and authorise in Berlin and Baden-Württemberg were the following:

• According to reports, there were 230 contacts with regard to the topic of forced marriage (double statements not excluded) in 2002.
• Between January and October 2005, 213 women and two men contacted counselling centres or refuges to ask for assistance because they were threatened by forced marriage or due to forced marriage that had already taken place (double statements not excluded).
• The concerned, however rarely contact counselling centres due to the most different reasons.
• Often, those women and girls might commit suicide as they think that there is no way out of their situation.
• Emergency institutions (girls’ and women’s refuges etc.) report that more and more girls and young women are asking for support and shelter who think that they are threatened by forced marriage or those having been married against their will.

The result of the evaluation of our own experiences of the past years as regards the topic of forced marriage show that more than 50 percent of those young immigrants, having contacted the employees of Mädchenhaus Bielefeld e.V., are being threatened by forced marriage or immediately affected thereof.

Are boys/young men affected by forced marriage, too?

Boys and young man may be affected by forced marriage, too. In rather traditional families they are married against their will in order to discipline them and to get back to the roots of their own culture area. For them, however, the consequences are generally less dramatic than for the girls, as young men mostly have much more liberties: They may finish their education, they have much more possibilities. Rather the wives have to suffer from the consequences of forced marriage. There is a high risk for them to be disregarded, abused and sexually abused.

Consequences of forced marriage

Foto: Horizon

Forced marriages damage psyche and health. As a consequence of a forced early marriage, girls often have to terminate school or vocational training and thus get into a circulation of lacking education and dependency. If girls or young women refuse to accept the marriage determined for them, they are often confronted with repressions by their own family, reaching from obscenities and threats up to beating or even murder for honour’s sake. After the marriage the girls or women are expected to obey their husband and eventually even his family. If a wife does not attend her duties, this may in extreme cases even lead to physical and psychic misuse, such as e.g. threats or beating. Moreover, she may be compelled to have sex with her husband. So the risk of being sexually compelled by the forced husband is quite high. The permanent fear to be sexually abused is one of the worst consequences of forced marriage for girls and women.

Depressions, self-injury, suicide and chronically psychosomatic diseases due to psychological strain may be caused by forced marriages.

Why are girls (boys) forced to a marriage?

The reasons of the parents leading to a forced marriage are complex. A possible reason is that the parents want their daughter to live a good life. Another reason may be egoistic material interests of the parents too, as under certain circumstances money is paid for the bride. Moreover, many parents wish to discipline their sons and daughters, having grown up in western countries, by the marriage to a partner from their country of origin in order to get back to the roots of their own culture area.

Just in case girls develop life plans contrary to the antiquated plans of their parents, such parents may tend to show them the ‘right path’ by forced marriage. Herewith, certain senses of honour, based on different country- and family related traditions play an important role, as forced marriage does mostly take place in the family related environment (i.e. marriage of cousins, nice and uncle etc.) The parents feel to lose their influence and want to force their daughter to live according to those antiquated traditions they are used to. Therefore, they decide to force their daughter to a quick and selected marriage. They are afraid of losing their face (honour of the family), if the daughter has a boyfriend and may lose her virginity as a consequence. By means of a quick marriage the parents – on the one hand – are no longer responsible, manifesting the traditional power structure on the other hand.

Beside those girls/ women affected who live here in Germany, being forced to a marriage by their parents, there are three other forms of forced marriage:

• Girls and young women are taken from their countries of origin to Germany and married here. Such girls (the so-called ‘imported brides’) are often taken from rural districts to Germany under the promise of a carefree future. Here, they have to live in the family of their husbands then, where they have to do the whole housework – in a country where they don`t know the culture and language, while their own family is far away. Thus, they are in a particularly week position they hardly can get rid off.
• Marriages celebrated in the parents’ country of origin due to pressure exerted by the family are called ‘holiday marriages’. Here, we talk about girls, having grown up in Germany, who may have partners there who are not accepted by their parents.
• So called ‘convenience marriages’ are celebrated for the purpose of assuring a residence permit to the spouse.

The reasons described above are a simplified résumé of the possible reasons for a forced marriage. The living situations of the affected are complex and complicated and must be considered too, with regard to counselling and support of girls and young women.

Forced marriage is not a religious phenomena

Foto: gbaku

There are tendencies to allocate forced marriage to certain religious communities. Reasons for forced marriages have however outdated patriarchal structures, traditions and customs, however not religion in its proper sense. None of the big religions in the world such as Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism or Islam stipulate forced marriage. Otherwise, there are text citations regarding each of these religions being misused to legitimate the subordination of women towards men. Such citations are used in the sense of patriarchal lobbyists each to limit or negate the right of girls’ and women’s self-determination.

 

 

In order to simplify the evaluation of the situation of the girls and young women concerned, it is helpful to learn something about the legal situation. This page offers you a first survey of individual legal provisions from different fields of law.

For further information, please contact the online counselling service or consult a lawyer.

Public International Law

According to article 16 paragraph 2 of the General Declaration of Human Rights of 1948, a marriage may only be celebrated due to the free and full mutual consent of the future spouses.

Therefore, a forced marriage is a violation of human rights.

Constitutional Law

Everybody has the right to self-development, unless he/she violates any rights of others, and unless he/she violates the constitutional order or the moral law. The freedom of a human being is inviolable (article 2 of Grundgesetz – GG [constitutional law]).

Human dignity is inviolable (Article 1 of GG [constitutional law]).

The law is no respecter of persons. Both men and women have equal rights. It is the task of the state to promote the actual implementation of gender mainstreaming. In addition to that, the state works towards the removal of existing disadvantages (article 3 of GG).

As a consequence, a forced marriage is not admissible according to the Grundgesetz [constitutional law] of the Federal Republic of Germany.

Civil Law

Foto: Roochster

With a marriage, not depending on the citizenship, exclusively those acts, applicable in the country where the marriage was celebrated, are considered in general. According to German law, a marriage is an arrangement according to family law, requiring the freewill of both spouses (§§ 1210 ff Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch – BGB [German Civil Code]).

According to § 1303 paragraph 1 BGB, a marriage must not be celebrated before the spouse have achieved the age of consent. If a spouse is under age when the marriage is celebrated, only the Familiengericht [domestic relations court] may make the decision, whether the persons concerned are released from this requirement; the parents, however, are not allowed to do so (§ 1303 paragraph 2 of BGB).

A forced marriage can be cancelled within a one year’s term after the celebration of such marriage by means of a sentence, if a constraint, due to which the marriage took place, can be proved. After expiration of the term, the marriage will be divorced as a consequence.

Criminal Law

According to § 240 paragraph 4 sentence 1 of Strafgesetzbuch (StGB) [criminal code], there is a severe case of constraint, if somebody forces another person to celebrate the marriage with him/ her. Depending on the individual case, even the elements of a crime such as e.g. threat (§ 241 StGB), bodily harm (§§ 223 ff. StGB), deprivation of personal freedom (§239 StGB) or abuse of wards (§ 225 StGB) may be considered.

Youth Welfare Service Law

Children, youths and young persons of full age may contact the local Jugendamt [youth welfare office] for help. Only those foreign children, youth and/ or young people of full age who are authorised to live here in Germany, due to e.g. an exceptional leave to remain, are authorised to benefit from the performances offered by the youth welfare service.

Without notification of their parents, children and youths may only be advised by the Jugendamt [youth welfare office], when counselling is required due to distress, and as long as the notification of the parents would impede the purpose of counselling. (§ 8 paragraph 3 Sozialgesetzbuch (SGB) [Social Code] Achtes Buch (VIII) [eigth book].

If children or youths ask for custody or if an intermediate danger requires the safe accommodation for the child’s/ youth’s welfare, the Jugendamt will be obliged to arrange for custody. Children and youths may also be entrusted in the youth office’s care without their parents’consent, i.e. accommodated with suitable persons or institutions, if their protection is not guaranteed otherwise. If the parents disagree with custody, the Jugendamt will have to apply for a decision to be made by the local court (§ 42 SGB VIII).

Foto: CharlesFred

If the Jugendamt has been informed about important evidence for the threat to the welfare of a child or a youth, several specialists of the Jugendamt have to evaluate the risk together. The persons, having the care and the custody of the child/ youth, as well as the child or the youth have to be involved, as far as the effective protection of the child or the youth is not challenged. If the Jugendamt is of the opinion that the domestic relations court must be involved, the Jugendamt has to contact that court; this also applies, if the persons, having the care and the custody of the child, are neither willing nor in a position to participate in the evaluation of the risk. If there is an urgent danger and the decision of the court cannot be awaited, the Jugendamt will be responsible for custody (§ 8 a SGB VIII).

On application, young people of full age shall be offered assistance for their self-development an self dependent conduct of life, when and as long as that assistance is required due to the individual situation of such young human being. In general, the assistance is only granted until the age of 21; in well-founded individual cases, however, it is to be continued for a limited period of time (§ 41 SGB VIII).

Often, young women are not accommodated in institutions, belonging to the youth welfare service, but in women’s refuges. This may lead to problems, if eighteen to twenty-one years old women are not able to meet the requirements of the women’s refuges with regard to autonomy and self-reliance.

Law on Foreigners

Due to a forced marriage the status of girls and young women living here in Germany does not automatically change with regard to their right of residence. However, if the legal residence is derived from the spouse’s situation, after two years of marriage an independent right of residence, not depending on the marriage, will be generated; in case of particular severity a renewal of the residence permit is possible even beforehand (§ 31 AufenthG-Aufenthaltsgesetz [residence law].

According to the new law passed by the Bundestag in June 2007 (§27 paragraph 1 a number 2 AufenthG), there is no right of residents to be joined by their partner and/ or children in Germany, if it is proved that one of the spouses was forced to the marriage.

If the girl or women leaves the Federal Republic of Germany (even against her will, it is difficult to return to Germany again, if she had left Germany for more than 6 months, as the status of residence expires in general (§51 paragraph 1 number 6 of AufenthG), i.e. the foreign girl/ woman is supposed to have left Germany due to a reason, the nature of which is non-preliminary. According to § 37 AufenthG, minor foreigners, having their legal, usual place of residence in the Federal Republic of Germany, do have the right to return to Germany.

Act for the Protection against Violence

Under certain circumstances, decisions according to the act for the protection against violence can be applied for, if somebody unlawfully harms/ violates the body, health or freedom of another person or threats him/ her to do so (§ 1 GewSchG). This act can also be applied in those cases where forced marriage has already taken place or persons from the personal environment and/ or other environment of the girl and/ or woman concerned threat such girl and/ or woman.

Legislative Initiatives

Foto: Hamed Saber

Amendments with regard to Criminal Law: The Bundesrat [Federal Council of Germany] has implemented a draft bill into the Bundestag [Lower House of German Parliament], acknowledging forced marriage as an independent element of crime.

Amendments of Civil Law: Moreover, the draft bill also provides for amendments of civil law: thus, due to the prolongation of the term to appeal against the cancellation of a marriage from one year to three years, it shall be easier to cancel a marriage having been celebrated because of an illegal threat.

At the same time, the claim for maintenance of the threatened spouse shall no longer depend on the fact, whether the spouse was threatened by the other spouse itself or to the knowledge of the other spouse therof.

Finally, in case of death of the threatened spouse, the legal inheritance law with regard to the other spouse shall be excluded in any case, even if an application to cancel the marriage has not been made so far.

 

 

According to our experiences with girls and young women threatened by forced marriage, we have phrased some recommendations for disseminators, specialists and assistants (e.g. aunt, cousin, sister in law, liaison teachers). Such information should be considered as assistance to show new possibilities and to give some tips, allowing girls and young women threatened by forced marriage to be supported and showing at the same time which alternative can be offered.

Each girl has her own story and personal situation.

With counselling and supporting processes in case of threatening forced marriage it is important to realise the individual situation of the girls and young women concerned and to react in a culture considering way. That means that moral concepts and the respective living conditions of the girls have to be respected. Moreover, it is important to act patiently and deliberately. You should note that overhasty acting or quick decisions may worsen the situation of the girls.

Often wedding plans are announced. Girls may realise certain early signs. Possible indices for a forced marriage are:

• The girl has got foreboding that something awkward will happen soon.
• She is concerned about having turned older and her developing femaleness. Therefore she is afraid of being forced to get married soon.
• She is given lots of attention, being offered special gifts such as e.g. new dresses or a ring.
• There are lots of foreign people visiting her family’s place – or even regular visits of close relatives.
• She is restricted to her daily life, e.g. she is no longer allowed to go to school.
• She is threatened and blackmailed.
• She is in immediate danger, i.e. there are certain indices for physical violence.

Foto: Horizon

Most of the girls are pressured and extremely afraid. Many of such girls are not able to confide in someone or to ask for assistance. The more important is the correct evaluation of the situation. If girls or young women have been able to contact a person and/ or institution they have confidence in, assisting and supporting them, a confidential and understanding behaviour is required.

In such a situation the girls and young women need a patient person listening to them.

Following discussion rules are useful and should be considered:

• First of all, you should assure the girls or young women that they will benefit of patience, anonymity and assistance.
• Transparency and agreements are important for counselling; each step should be discussed.
• Do not try to convince the girls or young women of your own moral concepts. Make clear that no decisions will be taken without their consent and that any further steps will be agreed with them beforehand.
• In case of any dangerous situation due to which they require some assistance, you should get some advice and assistance with the online counselling service for protection against forced marriage.

To visit families and relatives is particularly difficult and problematic. If a girl does not want to return to her family, it is first of all important to provide her a safe accommodation. Any discussions with her family or discussions to mediate between the parties concerned come second at that stage. Those girls often do not expect or believe that something could change regarding their families. They do not trust their parents and relatives and are afraid of them. You should take such concerns of a girl most serious.

Many girls do not want that the police is involved, as they will no longer be protected, as soon as the police has left the house. Afterwards, they have to stand the trouble with their family, pressure and violence. Many girls will even be more controlled, defamed and tyrannised as a consequence of visits to their place by police, Jugendamt [Department of Youth and Family Services) or the school. The „well-intentioned“ mediation attempts with the family will result in unbearable consequences; afterwards they will have to suffer much more than before. Therefore, please ask confidents for assistance and support! Detailed discussions with the online counselling service for protection against marriage or the responsible Jugendamt [Department of Youth and Family Services] are useful and required!

For the individual professional categories and supporting persons we recommend the following information and rules how to treat girls and young women immediately affected by forced marriage:

Teaching staff and employees of the open youth work should carefully talk to the girls, developing confidence in the event of suspension or knowledge of a forced marriage. It is most important to act deliberately and to discuss the concrete proceeding with the girl. You should protect anonymity and confidence of the girl!

Do not state any personal data of the girl, when you discuss any information with other persons (Jugendamt, specialists etc.) regarding the further proceeding. Do not inform the parents of the girl, as this – as described above – could have bad consequences for the girl affected. The protection of the girl rank first!

Foto: my mailo

The possibilities of the Jugendamt include the whole legal possibilities of assistance and intervention of the Kinder- und Jugendhilfe [child-welfare]. Any counselling discussions with the girl should generally take place with a confidant (e.g. employee of a counselling centre, teacher, friend) of the girl affected. If parents are prepared to discuss, you can show them that the welfare of the girl is in danger. If requested, another mediator from the individual culture can be involved during discussions with parents (intercultural office, persons of the community, relatives supporting the girl).

Here, particular sensibility is required: If the girl does not wish her parents to participate (e.g. with mediating or clarifying discussions), such a decision has to be considered.

During counselling you should discuss the situation within her family with the girl. You should show the girl different possibilities and give her enough time to talk about her reasons why she left her family, including the scenario what can happen, if she decides to terminate the relation to her family. If such a girl contacts her family again after she has left it, her life may be in danger as a consequence.

In most cases the concerned know that they might have to live anonymously without any contact to their family. It must get clear that the employees of the Jugendamt support the girls and want and/ or are able to care for their protection. Each possibility of support has to be discussed and decided with the girls.

If any attempts to discuss with the family are not successful and the girl continues to experience any further pressure and violence, it can be entrusted in the care of the responsible Jugendamt according to § 42 SGB VIII, i.e. preliminarily accommodated by suitable persons or institutions. Such a step, however, has to be well explained to the girl. Here, it is especially important to what extent the concerning accommodation is safe and suitable. Often girls of full age being threatened by forced marriage are accommodated in women’s refuges to protect them. Under certain circumstances, however a women’s refuge is not suitable and appropriate for a girl of eighteen or twenty, as the requirements and need for support of such young women are not always considered sufficiently there.

The individually best solution for the girl or the young woman has to be found and implemented. She has the right to a self-determined life without any violence.

 

 

If you need some local assistance in the city you live and further information, you will find a detailed address list here: Links + Assistance in NRW. Or contact us through our online counselling service.